Home Sweet Home - Sleep, Sweet Sleep

We are home! We got home late on Sunday night. (Thank you Sharon and Michael for welcoming us and bringing our tired crew home!) Yesterday is mostly a blur - sleeping much later than I had hoped, then a rush to get groceries, shoes for James, and a visit to our fabulous chiropractor. Then choir rehearsal with my choir, The WestSide Chorale. I almost fell asleep driving to rehearsal, but had so much fun and was so energized by the wonderful music and friends there, I was charged up and ready for the Night Time Routine (which lasted until 2:30am!). Thanks, choir! I needed that, lol!

I do apologize for the lack of photos! I'm not sure why the tablet wouldn't let me download photos to blogspot - or may it was the internet service in Taiwan? - but in either case, my goal today is to get some photos up.

And a few musings along the way.....

Yesterday, as I stood in my very own shower, with the smell of my favorite shower gel filling the air, my good shampoo (not the little one I travel with) and a warm, clean towel from the heated towel rack, I realized how comforting all these sensations were to me. My bed. My pillow. My closet with clothes I know.

And I thought of James. He came with a small bag of clothes which looked mostly new, except for the underwear and pj's which looked about ready to fall apart. He has left every smell and sensation that brought him comfort in his short life. I felt for him.

On our trip, I watched him as he pulled closer and closer to us. While we were in Taipei, he was quick to slip from our hands and run towards things he wanted - the vending machines in particular to get a coke. Most everyone looked like him. The language in the air was his. But as he became aware of his surroundings in Seattle, he started to stay a little closer. By the time we were in the Denver airport, he had one eye on us at all times. At the grocery store yesterday, while still wanting to touch everything and run around the store, he did not want to get too far from us either. I'm thankful he's finding comfort in being with us. But I feel for his loss too.

No, this is not our new method of transportation! It is Courtney and Chris' and James was just about as excited as he could be to sit on it and touch it! Joy wasn't too upset about being invited to sit either! She loves fast things too - we are going to have so much fun come 8 years or so!

Thank you to Courtney and Chris! They were such amazing hosts! And they set the bar pretty high too! An indoor trampoline place one day and bowling the other day. Both kids loved it, with each taking their own time to try new things, but both conquering their fear and jumping in, no pun intended. I guess I'll need my jogging shoes on to keep up with these two!

Sleep deprivation is going to be an issue this month, so all who have to deal with me, please be patient, lol! James is sleeping through the night, although he does wake up crying occasionally. Joy is adjusting to a new bedroom and bed (well, not totally new - she did sleep successfully in her own room the first year until Halloween, then she was terrified and came down to our room and had been there ever since). All of her fears of being left, bad people taking her, and something happening to me have resurfaced, so sleep is a scary thing, not a rejuvenating thing. At least last night, I had a rocking chair in her room and my nook to read. She did finally crash around 2:30am.

I feel for her as well. She loves James. She loves having someone to play with. She loves having someone in the family to take our focus off of her a little bit. And she hates it all too! She is jealous, wants to be 6 again with us, and has a hard time sharing her things. She is mortally wounded at every push or shove that James gives. She is sure he hates her when he says, "UHHHHH!" (which usually means, Give That To Me Now!), even knowing that he doesn't have words in English to say that right now. And is convinced that when I look at him and smile it means I don't love her anymore either.

And then there are moments when she brightens and relaxes. She is a good big sister, teaching James how to conquer a level in Sleepy Jack, or keeping him from hurting the dog. She'll say to me something like, I see how you're taking care of James. Is that what you did for me when I first came here too? Everything is an affirmation, if she will see it that way. I pray she does.

This is James on Chris' shoulders at the bowling alley.

James is a sweetheart! He is genuinely loving and sweet, and all boy too! He's wild and out of control physically sometimes, and other times, he's very precise and accurate with his hands. I bought the app Mosiac for the ipad yesterday (it's cool - go look at it!) and he spent 20 minutes putting the marbles on the pegboard with his finger to make pictures. (So much for a delayed hand-eye coordination in the report.)

It seems pretty apparent that he's on a sugar rollercoaster. He doesn't eat protein (I don't call Chicken McNuggets protein.) He doesn't like veggies (a snow pea here and there), and fruit makes his face scrunch up like he's eaten a lemon wedge. On our How to Take Care of him sheet(s), the foster mother had written that she bribed him with cookies to eat 2 slices of fruit a day. That's a strange ratio, don't you think? Oh, and she's fed him soda the last 6 months to ease his "anxiety".  Um, thanks.

Once we get his diet under control, I'll work on seeing just where his physical abilities are. The testing we received made it sound like he couldn't hold a pencil (which isn't true), so I'm guessing he didn't want to be at the testing center and was deliberately being difficult. I will remember that, lol!

I should go take a shower while they are still asleep! I'm not ready to leave him alone in the house and not ready to put Joy in charge of him either.

More later when I get pictures out of the cameras!

Thank you all for your prayers - they have been a blessing to us and we are grateful for safe travels and a smooth transition home. bye for now!
Margaret

a few pictures

I don't know if any of these will load. Tim's pics on fb haven't, so maybe this will. Our Visa day was successful. Then the park (Da'an) was fun. Starbucks for lunch (no noodle shops open - very expensive!). Now resting in the hotel before we head out to explore for dinner. we're doing well! James is addicted to sugar (tried to take a packet of sweets from starbucks as we left the store) even running from us to get to vending machines screaming COKE COKE COKE! Gonna be a long flight.... Joy is doing well! Really learning how to be a big sister, and then whining about how he's rough with her. Ha! She's gonna be so much stronger for this! They are playing together very well, despite the arguments over the ipad. well, the pics won't load from my tablet. I'll try the ipad later. Sorry! I'll post this anyway. - - - if you're reading this and you are in process in Taiwan, we found the AIT experience was different from the first time we were here. Now all on the 2nd floor. Much less formal and they take credit cards - prefer really. So things change! lol more later, I hope! Margaret

The Big Day

It's hard to describe (at 4:30am) how much life has changed in 24 hours!  (the sketchy internet connection doesn't help either)  But I want to try to write a few things down while I can.

The handing over documents was so different this time!  Chung yi had sent over to AIT most of the things we needed to carry with us last time.  So I only have 2 pieces of paper to keep track of from them tomorrow.  They do have this down, so while it feels a bit like a whirlwind, it is pretty controlled.  Oh, and when they ask you to check the document, they don't meant that they way we think they do!  Don't actually read it. lol

James' birthmother was there, which was different from the schedule they gave us.  She had with her a social worker who "represented" her.  There was  the translator from yesterday who has been his social case worker for 3 months.  The Vice-chairman of CY was there.  And our translator, person in charge - Sharon.   There was one more social worker, from the state.  After all our interchange had happened, she made a request.  It caused quite a stir!  She Vice Chairman interrupted and was quite stern.  The other women all looked surprised.  The discussion between them went on for a while before they spoke to us.  Sharon spoke to  the Vice Chairman a good bit, clarifying, before she spoke to us.

Guess what the request was?  Because it is a state requirement that children be enrolled in a school, they wanted proof that James would be going to  school.  Don't you think that's odd?  He will not be a ward of the state, actually shouldn't have been once the final ruling came in.  I quickly assessed that this fight was between the government and CY.  I wonder if the interpretation of the new adoption law is changing here, or at least what is required of the orphanages is.  This was unexpected, clearly, and I feel sure if we had balked and said it wasn't any of their business, CY would have backed us.  But no need for that.  I explained that of course we could provide proof he is attending school (thanks CHEC) but that it wouldn't be until January, when school started again.  That s to please everyone.

Our exchanges with JR's foster mother were very special.  She obviously loves this little boy, as does her family. She told us that he had chosen,"spontaneously" to come to us.  I'mnot sure how  that works, since I didn't think the children had that choice.  But maybe he did.  In any case, it meant for her that she could let him go to us.

We started the session with giving her a git, which was the right time to do that.  It was a silver heart necklace of 2 hearts intertwined.  We explained that her heartwould always be part of JR's heart and our hearts.  She cried, apologized for her display of emotion, and then put it on.  She touched it several times during our conversations.

There is so much to say about that part of the process, but I can't here.  I just know that it must have broken her heart and I can only guess how JR feels.  But he came willingly.  A littlescared, but not timidly.  He was clearly aware of this goodbye being for a long time.  But he let us hold him, smile at him, responded with I love you too, and held on tight for thisnew ride!

Tim said and I agree that JR will be the glue in the family.  He is impulsive physically, but it's not without thought.  He is watchful and sees immediately when someone is displeased or upset.  He wants to comfort Joy, but doesn't understand her reactions yet. (more on that later).  He wants to make us laugh or smile at his accomplishment and isn't afraid to come and get it if we aren't paying enough attention. (the ipad is an amazing thing! Angry Birds transcends all language barriers and Fruit Ninja provides laughter no matter your age!)

There is more to say but it is time to wake up JR who doesn't want to get up and go to breakfast. 9am AIT appt. more later blessings Margaret

An Amazing Day at the Zoo!

The day at the Zoo was so much fun!  Joy and JR holding hands, racing each other, climbing on every available surface, smashing chocolate ice cream all over their mouths!  What could be more fun than having a little brother to share it all with!?

JR is a sweet little boy, who is bigger than we thought, and he's well-behaved with us.  But he also likes to run towards anything and everything that interests him.  Even with the translator/social working pretty much let him run around.  It was interesting.

Joy was great!  Really stepped up and did a great job of being a big sister. She watched him, ran after him when asked to, stopped him when he got too far, and held his hand whenever he would let her.  He wanted to play Rock Paper Sissors for a long time, hopping back and forth depending on who won.  It was fun and wonderful to watch.

We have some cute pictures that Tim has posted to facebook, but they don't seem to be posting.  So, we will wait to post pictures here for a few days.  Sorry about that!

Today is papersigning day.  Since we've already spent so much time with him, we have only an hour and 20 minutes planned for that.  I'm anxious about the goodbyes - his foster mother has been his only mother for 6 years.  He is her only foster child. She already cried yesterday, but it is going to be hard for them both to say goodbye.

Pray for a smooth transition day!  He's been pretty catered  to and allowed a lot of freedom with few boundaries.  It is going to be survival for this week, for sure!

Love to you all
Margaret

In Taipei, again!

We are in Taipei!   As of this morning, we have been here for a whole day!  This morning begins much more relaxed than yesterday - at this time yesterday, we were standing in line to go through immigration.  Right now we are in a huge bed, snuggled up and watching Philadelphia Story on the dvd player!

Today is the day!!

We meet James and his foster mother at Chung Yi, the orphanage at 10:30am.  Then spend  the day at the zoo together.  We are nervous, but ready to get started on the journey!  Joy is beside herself!  Bouncing between being super sweet and loving and lashing out and being crazy.  When she's calmer, she can say how scared she is about this change.  And excited too!  That's a good thing.

There's lots more to tell, but right now I just wanted to let people know we are here, safe and sound.  We are so thankful for your prayers!  They are helping us all!

Margaret

And we are (almost) off again!

We leave tomorrow on another journey!  A journey of love, hope and excitement.  We leave to get our little boy, James Robert, from Taipei!

For those of you who had followed my postings about getting Joy, I apologize for not writing anything for a long time.  I had to decide what I wanted the blog to be.  There were personal things that I did not want to share, as many of you now know Joy (or Alex, more on that later) and I didn't want to color what you might see in her.  I also wasn't sure anyone really needed to know about my insights into adoptive parenting - there is a lot of info out there already! And my insights aren't too terribly original, lol.  While I haven't written anything down, I have stayed up at night composing posts, so at some point I will write them down.

But for now, this blog is officially up and running!  Just as we are running to Gotcha Day #2!  :)

We are off tomorrow to get James, or JR, as Zach dubbed him.  He is 6 years old and has lived with his foster family since birth.  We will meet him and his foster mother on Monday morning at Chung Yi, the same orphanage Joy lived in for 2 years.  Joy will be with us, (of course - do you think she'd let us leave her anywhere!?) and we will all go to the zoo and spend the day.  We took Joy there on our first day as a family, so this will be fun.  

The second day, we do paperwork and all the official things. Then, just like with Joy, they will have us stand for pictures in the front hall against the wall with pictures of other adoptive families, then we get in a taxi and wave goodbye.  You are a new family and now, on your own.  It's a wonderful and strange feeling.  I'm grateful we've done it before.  I think James will need us to have btdt (been there done that).

Here are a few pictures:

 As you can see, he's all boy!  Gonna be a pistol, I'm sure!

We are very excited!  Joy is beside herself sometimes - so excited, nervous (will he like me?) and worried (will we love her too?).  There is still a little fear that says we might leave her there, but we're doing our best to cope with that before it gets to be a big fear.  I have a charm heart that says "I'm always in your heart, Love Joy" and she has one that says, "I'm always in your heart, love Mama".  We'll wear those and maybe even switch if she's anxious the day we go to Chung Yi.  She doesn't have good memories of living there and is worried about seeing it again.  My hope is that it turns out to be a nicer place than she remembered.  

That's all for now - except I should change the color of the blog, don't you think?

I'll try to post after we get there.
Love to all
Margaret