Necessity is the Mother of Creativity!

This picture is from this morning. After getting in trouble last night and having TV taken away today, somehow Joy found something else to do!

I don't know if you can see it in the picture, but she made a nest in the corner and took some toys and a few books over there. She was reading the Dr. Seuss book aloud to the "baby" who was "sleepy". After she read the book, she got my calculator and played with that for nearly 15 minutes!

She announced this morning, "no tv today, Mama". I don't think it was a question - I really thought it was a statement. So we have cd's playing and it's actually been a great morning! I thought I was surely screwed by not having the tv to fall back on, but so far, we're okay!

It might help that we slept till almost 8:30 this morning. Yesterday, she was up at 4:30am and really didn't go back to sleep, although we didn't get out of bed till 7:00. She isn't really taking naps, except in the car (lol!) so if we don't get enough sleep, we are really cranky all day long, I found out yesterday.

I'm grateful for a nice day today!
Now, if she will just participate in Karate today rather than sucking on her hand sitting against the wall....

Happy Forever Family Day!

A little more than 40 years ago (I'm not going to be precise), I celebrated my first Happy Forever Family Day. I celebrated that extra "birthday" every year for a few years.

You see, January 29th was the day I came home to my Forever Family!

I was only 10 weeks old, so I don't remember the day, but I do remember that every year, I was told how I came home. I had a rash on my face and they didn't want to let me out of the orphanage. But Mom and Dad promised to take me to the pediatrician right away, on the way home. They did, and the doctor told them that if they didn't look at it, it would go away.

And of course, it went away!

There is a lot written in adoptive parents blogs about how perfectly their adopted children fit into their families - as if they were handpicked just for them. I have to agree, on both ends of the event!

I grew up in a family where I learned about logic and about fishing and camping too. I got to take piano lessons beginning when I was 5 and voice lessons when I turned 15. I got to go to great schools where I could study music, or anything I wanted. I learned to love artichokes with lemon butter (which was my mother's special treat when Daddy was playing golf late on Saturdays)and steaks on the grill (which Daddy cooked outside on Friday nights). I learned how to play bridge so I could be the fourth with my parents and grandmother.

When I was growing up, I did go through a (predictable) period of resenting the whole thing. In third grade, my friends found out that I was adopted. I had always known, so I didn't think much about it. But when the teasing started and the "shunning" in the lunch room didn't stop, my parents decided to take me out of school for a little while. I got to go to Europe with my mother and grandmother and a group of my grandmother's friends. I was, obviously, the youngest there, and I had a grand time! By the time I got home, I was no longer writing "I hate you" in my diary!

I didn't know that much about my birth parents and had created a "birth myth" to beat them all! My birthparents were famous musicians and if I practiced hard enough, maybe I'd be good enough to perform with them! Now I realize how silly that was, but also how that made me practice and stay with music when I might not have otherwise.

I also see, now that I'm older just how perfect my parents were for me. I can see how some things in me are nature (my singing ability for instance, since my mother was asked not to sing at the sorority functions even though she knew all the words!). I can also see how some qualities are based on nurture (by ability to think my way through a problem or issue - thanks Mother!). I also learned that I was tougher than I thought, and I can still bait my own hook, which is not a bad thing to know!

I can also see, from my perspective with Joy, how perfectly she fits into our family! I know that her musical talent is innate, but I know that I can help her nurture it. I know that her temper and "whiney-ness" might be innate, but are most likely something that has worked for her in the past - and being aware of that helps me "nurture" that out of her. I see how adventurous she is and I know how good that will be for me and Tim. I see how resilient she is and know that we will help protect that in her so that she will always be able to rely on herself and those who love her.

I see how Zach and Courtney play with Joy and know that she is exactly the little sister they needed. I see how she adores them and can't wait for Ge-ge to get home from school or our Skype with Jei-jei and know that they are the perfect siblings for her.

I also know she's the perfect granddaughter for my mother - Joy will love being spoiled and I bet my mother can keep up with her! (I hope I can keep up with them both!)

So Happy Forever Family Day! And thank you, Mother! Love you more than I can say!

Heartfelt Thanks & Tidbits

Thank You!
Tim and I just wanted to thank everyone who has called, emailed or sent gifts to Joy! Your generosity has been overwhelming!! We can't thank you enough!

I know that brides usually have 8 weeks after the honeymoon is over to get thank you notes out, but how long to new adoptive parents have?

I also wanted to let you know that if you sent something to us from Amazon.com, there were a few things that didn't have any information about who sent them. Please let me know so that we can thank you!

Tidbits

Singing in the Car
I think we know what the attraction of going in Mama's car is - singing to the cd's in the car! Not only does she know which cd is which number (there are 6 in the player), she knows which song is on which track! So she will say, "Mama, play 6 number 2 please!" That means, CD #6 and track 2. Amazing! I didn't even realize she could see the display that far away.

The other amazing thing is that she already knows a lot of the songs. We bought a cd of children singing gospel songs and children's songs. She obviously knows "This Little Light of Mine", "Jesus Loves Me", and a few others.

Yesterday, she asked for the "Jesus Loves Me" track, then sang along at the top of her lungs, having the best time! Then she says, "Mama, Taiwan Mama (meaning her foster mother), love Jesus. Joy baby love Jesus" and she showed me how she put her hands together to pray. I am flabbergasted (and grateful) and say, "yes, and Jesus loves Joy too". She smiled this huge smile and said, "yes!"

Last night, she sang "This Little Light of Mine" as she's getting ready for bed. She tells me, "Mama, Joy light shine, yes?" Yes, sweetheart, it certainly does!

Chinese or English
The other day in the car, Joy is singing the counting song (1, 2, I love you, etc). She has already sung it about 4 times, when it starts to come out not quite right. She is clearly frustrated and goes silent. Suddenly, out pops Yi, Er, San, Si, Wu which is 1-5 in Chinese. I'm thinking, I'm glad she still has that in her head. But wait, she isn't finished ---

"Mama, you try!"

Okay, I have Yi, Er, San down, but once we get past 3, I'm not so sure. She's counting to 15 faster than I can remember things. She usually enjoys being able to laugh at my Chinese, but she's frustrated that I'm not doing it as well as she wants me to. So, I have her start over and go slower. We get to 10, finally.

I think she may end up being bi-lingual. But in the process, I may have to learn some Mandarin! Oh my goodness!!

Food Part 2, or Ramen Noodles for Breakfast
Well, she seems to be eating enough food. And thank goodness, she's decided that Chicken McNuggets really aren't all that great (especially compared to KFC's fried chicken legs). But heaven forbid you order thick french fries! "Little French Fries, Mama!" comes the plaintive wail from the backseat!

The most interesting thing, I think, is how adventurous she was in Taipei. Anything we asked her to taste, she did. She didn't like everything, but some things were then asked for the next time we went to the buffet.

But now, getting her to taste anything is very difficult. And what tasted good yesterday, doesn't necessarily taste good today. Getting her to expand her food choices is going to be hard, at least right now. I know that adopted children frequently "control" their food because it is something they now can control. She doesn't hoard though. And she is getting better about my asking her to wait a minute before I can fulfill a request for food. But I'm getting awfully tired of chicken!

However, I have to admit that Ramen Noodles for breakfast is really pretty good! In fact, I like it a lot! We put bok choy, napa cabbage, green onions, a brussel sprout or two, and snow peas in it. Since she only eats about half of it, I have been eating the rest for breakfast. It's really good! You should try it!!

Why We Scream
I'm so glad our neighbors are used to the dogs being loud! Joy can certainly scream loudly! I mean, really loudly! She loves to expand her lung capacity outside, which is fine. But her favorite time is Bed Time.

We'll get teeth brushed and instead of just getting into pajamas, Joy has to run around, screaming. I finally asked her why does she scream.

She said, "Joy happy!"

Well, I'm glad you're happy, but sometimes it sounds like you're in pain or you're a year old and crying. But, I don't doubt that you're happy!

I asked her, did you scream in Taiwan?

Yes, she answers, with one of those grins on her face.

"Did you get in trouble in Taiwan when you screamed?"

She bursts out laughing. She bobs her head - Yes!!

Aha! Just as I thought!

So Mama is being stricter about Inside and Outside voices. She's gotten much better about yelling in my ear or the dogs' ears. She also knows she isn't supposed to yell in the bathroom, although it is a lot of fun!

As long as I provide her time at the playground to yell and scream, she seems to get it (mostly) out of her system.

Dancing
Well, now I know why we have to watch the Lazy Town show that has the ballerina in it a thousand times. She has memorized the dance routines! Almost, anyway.

So now, she wants to watch each episode 3 or 4 times in a row and then dances with the characters on the last one.

Right now, she's repeating all the dialog and asking me if she's right when she's not sure.

No wonder she is speaking pretty well already!

I'm just not sure the couch will survive being used as a saw horse....


The Swing
Joy definitely has a love of going faster and higher on the swings. We have been taking her to a park that has one of the bigger swings that locks the child inside it. She is just a little too light to stay in the leather swing seat.

She starts singing and screaming all at the same time, as soon as I get it started. Then she reminds me that Daddy says "Push" each time. So I have to do that, as loudly as I can!

She then sings and babbles in various languages, just as happy as she could be! As soon as we get high enough (about parallel with the bar), she screams, at the top of her lungs, "Mama, we did it!"

I have to laugh every time!

And she would stay there until her hands were frozen to the metal chain. (Sometimes the gloves stay on, sometimes they don't.) When I say, okay, 5 more pushes, she usually is good about agreeing, but as the swing starts to slow on its own, she starts to whine. I have to remind her to enjoy the end part too. And think about what she wants to do next.

Before it's totally stopped, she's ready to jump out of it and run to the slide.

It's actually a good thing we don't have a swing set in the back yard - it has become a reward for running errands with me and behaving. Or something special she and Daddy get to do.

It certainly thrills her. As did pointing out the pedals on the floor of the car in the front driver's side. Yes, the gas and brake pedals! Already! She told me those make the car go and stop, right? That's a truly scary thought!

Video Posting

Let's try this again - this is the video of Joy singing along with the band.
She really can sing it - but she knew she was being taped and the jumping up and down and screaming it was more fun!

The piece of paper in her hands is a guitar. She asked me to draw an outline of one, then she colored it and we cut it out. That's the second one. The first one was too small, she said....

I don't know if she's going to play the piano, play the violin, or be in a rock band! Or maybe an aerobics instructor? :)

"Who designed these seats anyway?!"

New Adventures
This week we tried a few new things. Some of them worked well. Some of them, not so well! On Wednesday, we tried a basic Gymnastics class at The Little Gym (www.thelittlegym.com). She was one of 3 little girls and the oldest. She took to it right away, watching to see how things were done and then trying them. She was great - wanting to get on the high bar right away! And of course, we came home and promptly tried all the same tricks in the living room. (sigh!)

Then on Friday, we tried a beginning non-competetive karate class at the same place. There were eight 4-5 year olds. Joy was having none of it!! The finger went in the mouth. Pretty soon she was trying to fit the whole fist in there. The teachers were really great! The teacher from the gymnastics class went in and worked just with Joy. But she really was overwhelmed. She and the teacher sat on the side and watched for a long time. Finally, with 10 minutes left in the class, Joy decided she could play on some of the equipement with just the teacher. Then she decided she could play freeze tag (where they freeze in a karate pose).

Joy clearly knew the poses and when they got to the side kicks, she knew that for sure! In the end, she did look like she was having fun and told me later she wanted to go again. But the little button loop on her fleece was practically chewed off! I'm not sure if she was overwhelmed by the number of boys in the class or just the number of kids in the class. I'm hoping that now that she knows what it will be like she'll relax and have more fun next week.

Something we tried again this week was a playdate with a friend who is 7. Sam is a great kid and he was so sweet with Joy! Especially when she was not exactly sweet with him! After watching her pretend to be hurt so that she could play with something he had, I decided to interfere. She knew perfectly well what she was doing. And she clearly expected to be punished for it - she went and stood in the corner by herself.

Instead I tried explaining to both her and Sam that yes, the toys were Joy's, and after she got through sharing them with Sam, they would remain her toys. I'm not sure, but I think that after being in a situation where nothing belonged to her and she had to share everything, she's very leery of sharing anything right now.

Of course, that didn't quite work, so the toy in question was just taken out of the equation. That made her mad, but a proposed nap seemed to snap her out of it though. It's a process....no question about that!

New Foods
Well, I give up! I have no clue what they fed her in Taiwan! She knows what Pringles are and loves them. She knows what Cheetos are, and loves them. She knows what chocolate milk is, and loves it. And french fries are her favorite!

So the girl is living off of french fries, crackers, chocolate milk, squeezable yogurt, the occasional chicken nugget, ramen noodles and fruit. We can get a few greens in her in the ramen noodles, but watch out if you put too much in her bowl! She won't eat any of it!

While she likes rice candy and chocolate candy, she really doesn't have a sweet tooth. She has a salt tooth! I had to laugh at her in the grocery store. She now knows where all the salty things live and also knows that I might buy her what she points to, trying to find what she likes. She pointed to every single box of crackers and chips, telling me yes, we had that in Taiwan. lol!

Tonight, we tried bbq. She turned her nose up at my offer of brisket. However, Daddy's brisket seemed wonderful! I tried some chicken. Nope, not having that either. Not the mashed potatoes, although we've had those at home. Just french fries and some brisket, from Daddy's plate.

Music Continues to Charm
The most requested song is "One, Two, I Love You!" which is hard to turn down. We have now watched The Little Mermaid for the 4th time and Beauty and The Beast is on it's second playing at the moment. Any song is mimicked, and while she may not know the words, she knows how it ends. If it's a big ending, we have a complete arm-raising rendition. If it's a love song, we have a big sigh and then she'll look around to see who's watching.

We bought a cd of gospel hymns for the car. Joy knew about half of them! I was really surprised. And she recognized that Daddy had been singing "Jesus Loves Me". She said, when the song came on, "Daddy sing, yes?". Beethoven's Ode to Joy was being sung in the backyard today too!

I had to post this video. The music is from a friend's band Just Desserts and the title is "Somebody Robbed the Glendale Train". Joy has decided it's the Mail train instead and she absolutely loves the song! I hope you enjoy it too!

Meeting Family

Last weekend, we met more cousins than Joy probably knew there were in the whole world combined!

She had a great time!

We went to Casa Bonita with the Schettlers for Grayce's birthday. Joy loved that Zach took her around to play the games and get prizes. And Heather and her little sister were there too! Joy loved the Mariachi band and Mama got an aerobic workout with Joy on her hip bouncing to the music for an entire song!

The next night, we went to the Pratts for Nick's birthday party and met lots of people! At first Joy was being shy and a little coy. She loves to act like she doesn't understand what you're saying, when she really does. I'm sure it was a little overwhelming, but it didn't take long for her to see all those toys under the pool table. That was great.

And trying to climb the pole like Nick was great too. Playing with the billiard balls was fun, even if Mama did keep telling her to keep her hands off the table...

I think the most fun was throwing ribbons up in the air and saying "Happy New Year!" with Aunt Kiki laughing and egging her on! Certainly was the cutest moment of the day!

Joy asked all the next day, and today as well, "Joy's friends?". I'm pretty sure she wants to know when she'll see them again! Soon, I'm sure!

Here is a picture of Joy in Uncle Larry's lap. She really didn't hesitate when he said it would be okay to sit there.


We also got to see the Henry's for just a short visit. Joy and Lani were hand in hand in no time. This picture is right before Joy's bottom slipped out of the seat and Tim caught her in mid-air! Thank God for miracles, big and small!

A few things I've learned

First trip to the Dentist to get teeth cleaned!

Just a random few thoughts -

Bathtime
For some reason, I can't seem to get the bath water temperature right. It isn't from lack of trying! And I'm not even sure it is an achievable goal, really!

It doesn't seem to matter what temp the water is, she screams it's too something. Then we get in and a moment later she's singing, or playing with Katrina (who is looking for bath toys or socks to play with). I've given up trying to fix it. If I add water, it's a major event. And heaven forbid I actually let water OUT! She figured that out the first night, I think. So, I better hope I get it right the first time!

She'll scream "mee-ouw" and you'd think I was dropping her into a nest of pythons. From experience, now I can tell that she's faking it. (I have to explain that - bu yoa means "I don't want to" in Chinese. She was saying that over and over one day, for no good reason and it came out "meow" and I asked if she was a kitty cat. She burst into laughter and has since thought it extremely funny to say "meow" when she means No.)

So, I have been fairly certain that the bath water isn't hurting her, she just wants to complain about something. And that's the only word she can find at the time.

But when we get out, it's a different story!

She goes stiff as a board, with the towel wrapped around her, breathing in and out through her teeth, huffing and moaning. Then screaming "too cold". I'm sure she is, but she isn't going freeze either! I get her dried off, cream on her skin and dressed as fast as I can.

Which isn't always quickly done - as she runs off the play with the doll. Or has to throw the sock for Katrina (who is now called "Banana Kanana"). Or run out of her room to look over the railing to see who's downstairs (completely naked, mind you). Or pull things out of her bookcase and ask me if they are "Joy's?".

So there again, I'm pretty sure she isn't dying, even though she might sound like it!

Driving While Distracted
I have to say, nothing compares to driving with a kid in a childseat in the back seat! Especially one who is saying, "Ikat Mama!" every 3 seconds. I mean, I can text on my phone and drive safer than this! (Texting only at stop lights, of course!) And eating while driving is a piece of cake, no pun intended! But driving with kids in the back - oh my! That's a whole new experience!

Today, while I was backing out of a parking space, Joy decided to scream at the top of her lungs. I thought I had either killed someone or somehow hurt her! I came to a dead stop, which is not the smartest thing in a parking lot....and once ascertaining that no one was hurt, tried to explain to her why she couldn't ever, ever do that again! I might have raised my voice a bit, for emphasis, I'll admit.

She spent the whole car ride home sulking and I think maybe cursing at me in Chinese. Not sure about it, but it sounded like it! Sorry, sweetie, you can't scream in the car! Or in the dog's ear. Or in Mama's ear. Or in the house. So naturally, that's your favorite thing to do!

Bedtime Stories

I'm trying to establish a routine, but it's hard with her. She wants to play while getting her pajamas on. And I mean run around the room giggling, jump on bed, take things out of the closet and hold them up or throw them somewhere, turn every light on and off a dozen times and then scream while pretending to be scared. Last night, I decided to try to calm her down a little sooner in the process (rather than letting it go on for 30 minutes). She tells me that she's happy. "Joy Happy!" Okay, I guess that makes sense - this is your room and you haven't had a room before. All these things are yours, and you have had to share. There isn't a different caregiver every night with a different routine and way of getting you ready for bed.

So, I'm letting her run around for now. When we get in bed though, I'm really trying to get her settled down. The other night, she got so worked up that I told her I was going to stop reading if she didn't calm down. She didn't, and I stopped. The crocodile tears started. And then they turned into real tears. I think it was a build up of frustration from the day, not really aimed at me. I left her in bed while I started laundry. It was in the next room and she could both hear me and see my shadow.

By the time I got back to her, she was still mad at me, but calmer. We finished our story and then she did what she does every night - she grabbed my hand and wrapped it tightly around herself and fell asleep. She holds on so tightly, I think my hand is going to fall off!

I have learned to position myself next to her so that I can leave without waking her. I also now know to wait till after the twitching stage has started. Well after! Nothing is worse than having her be almost asleep enough when I'm trying to leave!

Being Scared and Rituals

The other day, Joy kept asking to see one specific cartoon over and over. It was the one with the Dinosaur Head. "Lazy Town" is her favorite cartoon and it's really cute! If you haven't seen it, it has an Icelandic Olympic athelete who plays the superhero and uses both puppets and people. There is a lot of gymnastics and dancing and the stories and music are very clever, I think. Anyway, there was one about a camp out and the kids being scared by a fake dinosaur head. She wanted to watch it over and over, and I let her.

I thought that if she asked for it, there was a reason.

After watching it about 6 times in a row, she asked about our flashlight. We had taken the batteries out of it to make the Light Bright work and it was still sitting on the counter waiting for new batteries. I had them, just hadn't put them in yet. So we did that and then she wanted to turn off all the lights in the house and play with the flashlight. She was pretending to be scared, screaming and giggling and shining the flashlight here and there.

You can imagine what the dogs thought of all that!

I didn't mind at first, but then I thought about what it must look like from outside! So I made her turn on a few lights, saying that Daddy needed some lights on when he came home. I could just see trying to explain to a friendly concerned policeman that my newly adopted daughter was trying to figure out how not to be scared in the dark by shining the flashlight in the dark....

She has also had a ritual at bedtime in her room of turning all the lights off and then turning the lamps back on, one by one. There is enough light from the street light to see in the room with the lights off, so it isn't pitch black. She tells me that she isn't scared and I tell her how brave she is.

But she has woken up the last few nights being scared. I don't know what she's been dreaming, but it has upset her. I'm pretty sure she knows it isn't real, and she goes back to sleep pretty easily. It may just be that Mama's side of the bed is pretty warm and snuggly too! (Mama, though, has learned to get her blanket so that she is covered up and Mama doesn't roast to death!)

English and German

Tim and I are going to have to brush up on our German! We are already spelling certain words that she knows, but pretty soon, we're going to need our own language.

She is really communicating well. It's fun to watch it happen too. At first there were just nouns and hand gestures. I figured out that hands moving up and then down with the "swoosh" sound effect means get dressed. And the new one today was she stands frozen with one hand up in the air and the other pointing down. Took me a while to figure that one out - means, please freeze the tv so that it stops playing while I show you something.

"H1N1" can mean anything from "let's play pretend" to "I'm tired of this game". She got her last H1N1 shot right before we got her.

And her favorite word today is "Perfect!!!!" which she heard on a cartoon. When she finds the right word for something, or when she gets the food she wants or the dog does something she likes, "Perfect!!!" comes out of her!

"French-U Fries-uh" was a little harder. Sounds like it would have been easy, but the U sound kept throwing us. Then all of a sudden, I guessed french fries? Yup, her favorite food.

Now, though, there are concepts behind the nouns and a few verbs thrown in. I even get an article or two here and there! Tonight I found out that her foster mama (she has a Chinese word for her, and I recognized it, then pointed to her picture in the book just to make sure I was right, since the story went on for a while) had a dog. And the building they lived in was BIG and had 5 dogs in it. There were lots of families in the building. None were as big as Scarpia (we were looking at Scarpia's puppy pictures), and she called them all hers. Wow!

I also heard tonight that "Joy many shots" and "Joy not scared, Joy not baby, whaaaa! Cool, huh?"

Yes, sweetie, way cool!
:)
So much for the babbling stage lasting 3 months!

The Rest of the Winter Park Trip - or Tag-Team Vomiting

Yup, you guessed it - we got sick! Tim had had the 24 hour stomach flu a few days earlier, and then it was our turn. Started out with the headache and then, well, you don't need me to explain it, do you?

What was funny in a way was that Joy and I were sleeping on the couch, mostly because I couldn't move and that's where I ended up. Tim had pulled it out and made the bed part (although torture chamber is really a more accurate description of the bed), and we had a little trash can and box of kleenex. So, Joy would be asleep and I'd have to throw up. I couldn't even leave the bed, thus the trashcan. Then as soon as I fell asleep, she'd need to throw up. As soon as she fell asleep, I'd go. It was like that all night long!

I know this is going to sound strange, but it was a great bonding experience! Seriously! She saw that I was sick and was worried about me. She asked if my tummy hurt all night. She was sick and I took care of her. I told her she'd feel better in the morning and hoped she understood that, while wiping her face and teaching her how to swish the water and spit rather than swallow (like when we brush our teeth). She slept on top of me most of the time she slept.

And in the morning, she woke up and was all better! Singing, happy to be alive, and looking for Daddy to take her swimming again!

I, on the other hand, barely made it upstairs to the bed so that I could actually sleep for a little while! Man, did I feel old! I had slept in my jeans - I haven't done that since, well, maybe I better not say....

So Tim took Joy sledding again and when she came back, she put her hand on my forehead and said, "Mama too hot!", pulled the blanket over my head and said, "sleepy!".

I managed to get her bathing suit on and Tim took her for another swim. By that time, I decided I needed to get up, whether I felt like it or not. Coke and Animal Crackers helped. (a little)

Today, we're all fine. Tonight, Joy asked me, "Mama tummy hurt?" No, we're all better. She said, "everything is okay!", which is a phrase I use when she's screaming that the bath water is too hot or too cold or that she's cold or hot. Funny to hear it come back to me!

Here are a few more pictures of our trip!

First Swim!

The condo we stayed at in Winter Park had a heated pool. Joy couldn't wait to go swimming. She calls it "Swishing". So Tim took her swimming.

I think this was her first time in a real pool. From the pictures I have, I think she's only been in a wading pool with floaties on her arms. None of that here, just Dad to protect her.

She had the best time! And did a great job! She had her head under the water and was jumping off the second step in no time. Tim got her to kick and then float and by the second swimming expedition, she was nearly swimming on her own.

Amazing!

However, one thing we've learned about this child, she does not like to be cold! When she got out of the water, she just started screaming! And went stiff as a board (more about bathtime later, where this is a nightly ritual). We went straight to a warm bath, but it took about half an hour to calm her down and reassure her that she was just cold, not dying. But to hear her screaming and moaning and huffing and groaning, you'd think she was in her last hour for sure!

Here are some pictures!

Sledding!

We were able to take 2 days off and get up to Winter Park with some friends. Joy is at the stage where she is asking what will happen each day. So she knew that Tuesday we were going to the mountains to play in the snow. For some reason, she latched on to "snowman" and that's what she wanted to do - make a snow man. Unfortunately, the snow was too dry to do that, so she had to settle for - - -
SLEDDING!!

If I doubted it before, I don't now! This child is fearless! But in the best way! She watched other kids doing it first, then climbed on the sled with Tim. She didn't say anything, just nodded that she was okay. Then off they went, and you could hear the squeal of delight all the way down! The smile on her face when they stopped at the bottom was beyond words!

She almost immediately wanted her own sled. She went and picked one out from the group of plastic sleds they had there in the park. She was observing which ones the other kids had and how fast they went, I'm sure. She decided, after a few solo runs, that it was time to go head first.

So, she plopped down head first and pushed herself off before we could tell her to keep her hands inside. She didn't go far or very fast, and was clearly disappointed. So once the mechanics were explained, she tried again and screamed with glee all the way down!

I'm not sure which person had the most fun though - her, Tim or Michael! As you can see from the pictures, they all had a good time!

What a Day of Contrasts!

(This is Joy and Zach watching football game films. Apparently, she could pick him out in the films. Pretty clever girl!)

Even with all the reading I've done about parenting adopted children, it was generally academic until today!

Joy woke up happy. Mama did not - still trying to get rid of The Winter Cough....but Joy was unfazed by my lack of eagerness to face the day. She went downstairs and brought her laptop back with her, crawled into bed next to me and was happy to play while I tried to stretch 10 extra minutes out of the morning. But soon enough, both she and the dogs were hungry, so I got up. All was good, until - I don't know what, but something happened to change her mood.

Her rash is almost gone, and now we're dealing with dry skin, which is irritating, but not a constant thing. So I couldn't figure out why she was just plain whiny and unpleasant all morning. I finally got her on the couch, where she fell asleep for about an hour before lunch time. I think that was the benadryl. Her bad mood might also have been the medicine. I can't think of anything else.

As bright and sunny as she is, when she isn't those things, you get the polar opposite. Today was the first day I've seen any of the behaviors we read about in the social worker's reports. Obstinate. Tantrums. Unable to calm herself.

And yet - through that, I could see that she was trying. After finding that my sitting with her only made it worse, I told her she had to calm herself down. That she was okay, there was nothing wrong with her. I could see her trying to do that. Once she quieted down a little bit more, I tried to find something to reward her with - a video or a puzzle.

Her language skills completely evaporated, I guess because of her stress level. All I got was "baa baa" which clearly meant everything from, I'm unhappy, to I'm mad, to feed me. She was able to nod yes or no to my questions, so I did figure out that her stomach hurt. I thought maybe she fell running after Katrina while I was getting dressed. She couldn't give me any more clues than she didn't want anything to do with Katrina and she hurt.

So I let her sleep, then fed her lunch and her mood improved enough for a car ride. I thought, well, I need to go to the store anyway, and it's snowing and she was enjoying that earlier, so we'll just go for a car ride.

She was happy, sunny and all smiles getting into the car. And for about 15 minutes thereafter. Just long enough for me to decide, let's make it a little longer ride and go see the cows in the snow.

HA! No sooner had I decided to go farther then she started squirming and pulling at the seatbelt in the carseat. Then the whines started. Then the cries. During this, I'm driving in snow and traffic on Highway 36 and trying to figure out the fastest route home! I try to ask her questions. I get "baa". I tell her I can't stop because I'm driving, but I don't know if she understood. I tell her I'm sorry she hurts. I tell her we'll be home in a minute. I did get her to drink some water and she started to calm down a little bit. Finally, I just kinda ordered her to calm down. That got a better response.

So by the time we do get home, she's quite worked up, and I'm worried. What could possibly be wrong? A bladder infection (she's grabbing and pulling there)? Did she really get hurt when I wasn't watching?

In the house, with me carrying her everywhere, I finally get her to the bathroom. She says she doesn't need to go, but boy, does she! There are no symptoms of a UTI or anything like that. So I start poking her tummy trying to find what hurts. All of a sudden, she lets out this BIG fart!

Oh My Goodness, indeed!

Yes, all you mothers out there are laughing by now, right? She had gas. And then in about 5 minutes, she needed to poop. My, what a poop! And she instantly felt fine!

So here we are in the bathroom, with me kneeling on the floor to be at her level, having a talk about trusting Mama. I don't know how much of it made sense to her, but I was trying to say that she could trust me to take care of her. That when she hurt, I would find a way to make it better. In her world, that kind of predictability hasn't been there. Sometimes, yes, and that's why she is able to bond with us now. But it's still a new thing for her.

Her whining and the drama queen routine, while normal for the age, also carry with them a burden. We have to prove to her that we'll take care of her. We have to prove it over and over again, until she no longer thinks about it, worries about it, or acts out because of it. Children who've had the same caring parents since birth don't question that care. Even though Joy is amazingly trusting, she is wary too. And when she hurt in a way that she couldn't explain and I seemed to not do anything about it, it upset her deeply.

But part of her resiliency is that she bounces back to normal pretty quickly. Once that hurt was gone, and I was still there, she was the most wonderful, loving child! In fact, she was loving and helpful, not just bouncing around singing and dancing happily.

And her verbal skills came back three-fold! We had a small conversation even. Complete sentences are beginning. And she wants to understand time, days and the calendar. She even wrote "I love Mama" and put it on my music stand. Then wrote "I love Baba" and put it in the kitchen for him to find.

So in the end, it was a wonderful day!! She loved the snow falling, squealing while she's looking up at the snow in the lamplight. She loved having Zach home and spent time in the basement with him and Tim. She loved saying every word she could think of while she "read" me a story tonight. And she asked to go for a ride in Mama's car tomorrow too.

I said we could do that - and maybe this time we'll actually make it to the store!

Oh My Goodness!

(This is Joy tonight, with a present from some good friends - a kid's laptop! She is mesmerized and loved it the minute she saw it. I tried to get a video of her dancing around the room singing "Joy's computer!" but I couldn't get it. Maybe I will get C's project finished afterall!)

The phrase of the day - Oh My Goodness! complete with sigh at the end! Amazingly cute, and don't think she doesn't know it either! What a flirt!

Today was a day of contrasts. First we had to sit in the vet's office while we found out what was making Scarpia sick (he has a bladder infection and will be fine). I think I heard, "Mama, I'm hungry" about 200 times in 10 minutes. I was about to scream "Oh My Goodness!"

How do you explain to a child who is completely in the moment that mama will take care of it when she can, but at that exact moment, she can't fulfill that request! My repeated, "I know, we'll eat when we get home" was like speaking Swahili to her. I had a breakfast bar in my purse, which was in the car and if I'd thought about getting it, I might have tried that, but I didn't think about it. I was just trying to deal with a whining child who insisted on laying down on the floor. When she started screaming though, she crossed the line and she did at least know it! Up on the bench she sat with me, continuing to complain, but more softly.

I really felt badly! I tried playing. I had brought the magna doodle just in case. I got a depression stick out of the canister on the table. I tried singing, playing pattycake, using the wooden stick as a percussion instrument - but we had passed the point of being entertained....

So, after lunch at home, the second part of the day began.

Happy Joy appeared! She played in the backyard with the sand, the dogs, the stones left over from our paving project and a stick. For an hour. Happy as could be! I finally got some housework done.

For naptime, I told her that if she was good about taking a nap, we'd meet Daddy at the store. She laid her pillows out on the couch, covered Katrina with the blanket and to sleep she went. An hour and a half later, she was up, smiling, singing and ready to get in "Mama's car".

I think I've figured out the desire to get in a car - she wants to go to McDonald's....

The post I wrote in my head today was titled -
McDonald's: The Evil Empire
It was about how we succumb to the evils of the Happy Meal because it's easy, convenient and entertaining. However, the hell that one goes through with those stupid toys that talk at the push of a button. A button that is just the perfect size for a child's finger....a button that is irresistible to a child! I've heard the two Chipmunk figures say whatever they're saying more times than I can count. I have only asked that the she doesn't play them in the dogs' ears. So I'm rebelling!

This afternoon, after our trip to Costco, she said I'm hungry and I answered her with okay, let's get something. No more complaints. No whining. Just a smile.

I went to Wendy's instead and ordered off the dollar menu. And you know what? She didn't even know that she could have gotten a toy if we'd gone somewhere else. She was just happy to have her beloved french fries with a chicken nugget thrown in for good luck!

So there, McD's!
:P

The dentist and rashes

Two doctors in one day! What a trooper! It's little wonder Joy was weepy and sad tonight. She had quite the day!

First was the rash. Technically, this is the second rash. The first one was probably dry skin combined with being allergic to the special kids shampoo. We've almost got that one cleared up, although she keeps scratching some.

This one is on her face and does look pretty bad. So off to the doctor we went. We've just about decided it's a food allergy. The cream I'm using seems to be helping and we're adding benadryl. The main culprit is probably food dyes. So the goldfish are out. The fruit punch is out. We'll start there and see what happens.

Then we went to the dentist. This was a trip I was dreading! I've read such horrible stories about rotten teeth and pain and upset - and not being able to explain to this sensitive, aware child that whatever we had to do would make it better in the long run really worried me.

But she's just fine! In fact, her teeth look really good! I can hardly believe it! Definitely, an answered prayer!

Because of the 2 doctors, there really was no proper nap time today. I did get an hour of being on the couch looking at "Where's Waldo" while I got some computer work done, but it wasn't entirely easy. At least her new favorite item is her new watch! We started working on telling time by her telling me when the minute hand had moved to certain numbers. That way she could see there was progress being made and the end was going to happen at some point!

Somewhere before dinner, she started asking to get in the car. She did this last night as well. Tim and I worked on trying to understand why. I asked if she wanted to go see Jie-jie, thinking perhaps she thought that we could drive to where Courtney was. Joy said, no. I asked if she wanted to go to the store, which is where we went last night. No. Did she think she would get a cookie if we got int he car? No. Was there something in the car she wanted? No. Finally, mostly because it seemed like such a simple request to fulfill, we said yes.

So in sign language, she says, we eat, then when we're finished (hands up in the air), we go for a drive (pretend to steer) in Mama's car. Then Yeah!

After cleaning up, we got in my car. She was thrilled. We started driving to Golden to go see friends. She was happy until we got there. Then she was all worried and shy and clingy. Once we got inside, I could say, you're not staying with them - you're coming home with us! And our special phrase - I got you! She relaxed a little bit and said I gottchu back.

And then after about 10 minutes, she was the life of the party! Laughing, and squealing, mimicking everyone and playing a game we brought. We all had a great time!

I thought that surely we'd come home happy and ready for bed.

But I was wrong - when we got home, she didn't want to get out of the car and when I asked if she wanted to go home, she shook her head with little tears in her eyes.

That really surprised me! She's been so happy to be home, to get Katrina out of her crate and say hi to Scarpia. So I reminded her of those things and wouldn't let her stay in the garage, which is where she was acting like she'd rather be. Once we were inside, she wanted up in my arms.

So, after boots coming off, we went upstairs to get ready for bed. I wasn't quite sure what to do, but gently didn't let her have a choice. By the time we got to the 3rd floor (yes, that's where her room and bathroom are - what were we thinking!), she was saying Brush Teeth. We took a while to get ready for bed, but she didn't balk. At one point, I just sat and held her with her arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

On the floor next to us was the box of the world map puzzle. I had shown her where Taiwan was on it. She dropped down and started saying Taiwan and looking for it. So I showed it to her. She seemed pleased to find it. I then asked her where Home was. We found Colorado. I said that was where Joy lived now. She used to live in Taiwan and now she lived here and wasn't she a brave girl for doing that. Then we found New York again because Courtney lives there.

I really think she was missing her home in Taiwan. Which makes me wonder if she thought we would get in the car, then the plane and then go back. She didn't ask about the airplane, so maybe not. But she was sad tonight.

Maybe she likes the motion of the car, of getting out, of being with just Tim and me where we laugh and listen to the radio. I don't know. But I wonder if she'll ask again tomorrow night....

After reading a few stories, we're asleep. Tomorrow, I promised her we would start learning how to read. She obviously understands that the words on the page mean things and she wants to understand it.

I think I have my school work cut out for me!
Better get some sleep then ----

Two Zoos in Two Weeks!

We made a trip to the Denver Zoo Lights last night. There weren't that many animals out, but we had a good time looking at lights and people and a few animals! Mostly, it was just a great time to hold Courtney's hand and ride on Daddy's shoulders.







The last picture is with Courtney's boyfriend Chris and his sister, Savannah.

Big Sister!

Saturday Jan. 2, 2010

There is nothing better in the world than a Big Sister to play with!

Jie-jie finally came today and the world is a better place! Joy got to play with Courtney's hair, her jewelry and her clothes. They giggled over dolls and coloring books. Courtney even taught Joy her favorite phrases, "Oh, my goodness" and the famous sigh. Joy was in heaven!

That was not what I expected considering how Joy reacted when Courtney and Chris came in the door! Courtney looked lovely, in a black coat and black boots with her hair pulled up on top a little bit. And big earrings. Joy was scared of her! She kept telling me that wasn't jie-jie. We got a picture and put it up next to Courtney's face and Joy still shook her head, no. It was pretty funny, except that she was distressed about it.

It didn't take that long, and they were BFF!!

Here are some pictures from our Christmas. Joy didn't really understand Santa, or why there were presents for her that weren't wrapped. But she played with them all the same. (A note to self - next year, check to make sure the toy doesn't need aseembling before Santa leaves it!) She got the hang of our system pretty quickly though. Each person gets a present and we all watch them open it before we go to the next person. After about 3 presents, she wanted to be in charge of who got what present. She was very good and didn't ask for a present, but she wanted to know which packages were for her! She also wanted to hand them out.

There were lots of giggles and everyone had a good time!

Here are some pictures.

A few Funnies

I wanted to share just a few of the funny things Joy has said recently!

The funniest, to her at least, is "Gigi go to the bathroom?" It is always accompanied by absolute squeals of delight!

I finally figured out that she was hearing "Did you need to go to the bathroom?" So everytime I'd ask her that, she would just break into laughter. "Gigi" must mean something recognizable to her, but I have no idea what. I tried today to get her to say "did you", but it came out "gigi" anyway!

She has several Hello Kitty things, including her new suitcase. Hello Kitty is Japanese, but it is all over Asia. Joy, however, calls it "Hello Tikky". It's hysterical! She has a headband that has the Hello Kitty kitty on it, and she was sitting on my lap singing a song about "hello Tikky"!

We are learning all sorts of new words, but sometimes the final consonants don't happen. We heard a song in a cartoon, "B - O - O - T - S. BOOTS!" She sings it every time she has to put on her snow boots. But the final S in the word doesn't happen. So I was trying to get her to say "ts". I decided it wasn't working when she found it hilarious to splatter spittle all over my face!

Katrina and Joy are best friends, although sometimes Katrina just wonders why this little creature won't leave her tail or her ears alone. Although Joy knows how to say "Katrina", she loves to say it any number of ways, her favorite being "babuba". Then when I ask her if that's Katrina's name, she giggles and says, "yes!"

Scarpia's name is a bit harder. He has been "scarpoo", "sarpi", "carpa" and "scapa". He has been a great dog! She has draped her blanket over him almost every time he lays down. When he gets up, the blanket is still there, and he just calmly walks around with it on his back. He lets her sit down next to him and lay on his stomach, or pet his muzzle. He just looks at me with those eyes that say, "see, I can be a good dog". Yes, Scarpia, or whatever she calls you, you're a good dog!

After being so shy on the phone the other day, she has decided that the dominoes we have out are cell phones. She puts one next to her ear, says "moshi, moshi" which in Japanese means hello. (We heard it in Taiwan as well.) Then she lays down on the couch with the domino between her shoulder and her ear and talks. Sometimes she pretends to listen then explains, "wow! cool!". When she's ready to end her call, she always says, "Goodbye!". You know she's not going to be happy with a play phone - she's going to want the real thing before I know it!

One of the funniest things to me is how she just has this Chinese/Babble mix burst out of her! She goes outside with the dogs in the back yard, runs up and down the yard screaming almost at the top of her lungs (although just when I think she's at her loudest, she gets louder!) this explosion of words. I think most of them are made up. Sometimes there is a song in there. Sometimes there are English words embedded in there as well. She's just as happy as she could be though, so unless it's at night, I just let her go!

Joy is also learning about turning lights on and off, closing and opening doors, saying hello and goodbye constantly. She gets great delight out of following me to the bathroom, only to turn out the light and close the door. Then she will knock on the door and when I say, Come in, she'll bound in with HI! Then turn around and close the door behind her and say GOODBYE!

Singing is a constant with her. She makes up things all the time. Then she'll sing something recognizable (like Jingle Bells). Every once in a while I'll hear about bit of something we've heard on tv that day. I sat down with her at the piano and we played some Christmas Carols. She had heard "O Come All Ye Faithful", but didn't have words for it. She had never heard "The First Nowell" I think, but wanted to hear it again and again. She loves to make sounds at the piano and is very good about not banging. I let her play whatever she wants and as long as she is using her fingers and not her arm or her palms, she's allowed to play as loudly as she wants. The only problem is that she wants to sit in my lap while I play. My arms just aren't that long! She was very upset when she couldn't stand on the bench next to me either!

Right now, she's telling herself a story, complete with hand gestures, sighs and inflections. Obviously, a creative mind going wild in there! Can't wait for the language skills to catch up to it!

Big Brother!!

There is nothing better than having a Big Brother!

Joy calls Zach "ge ge" (guh guh) which is Chinese for big brother. In Chinese culture, the first born son is the most important person in the family after the parents. Joy may have only spent 5 years in Taiwan, but she certainly knows that Ge Ge is very important!

It doesn't hurt that he has blonde hair and big arms!

Joy was so funny about Zach's facial hair (I hesitate to call it a "beard")! She rubbed her hand on his chin and giggled. Then ran her hand from his chin, all the way up the side of his face and then onto his head, giggling the entire way. Then she screamed something in Chinese and said "ikat, mama!" (look, mama) Then she just sat there and giggled!




Of course, Zach is going to have a huge influence on Joy her entire life. I kinda wish it hadn't started with hand symbols and hats backwards though!
;)

Cooking With Daddy

We're learning all sorts of new things, the most important of those is that Chocolate Chip Cookies make you feel GOOD!

Tim and Joy made cookies tonight, and you should have seen the smile on her face when they came out of the oven! I wish I could have caught it with the camera, but I didn't. I don't think she had ever done anything like that. We've been trying to teach her about being safe in the kitchen and this was a good way to do it. And of course, having cookies as the reward wasn't bad!