It's hard to describe (at 4:30am) how much life has changed in 24 hours! (the sketchy internet connection doesn't help either) But I want to try to write a few things down while I can.
The handing over documents was so different this time! Chung yi had sent over to AIT most of the things we needed to carry with us last time. So I only have 2 pieces of paper to keep track of from them tomorrow. They do have this down, so while it feels a bit like a whirlwind, it is pretty controlled. Oh, and when they ask you to check the document, they don't meant that they way we think they do! Don't actually read it. lol
James' birthmother was there, which was different from the schedule they gave us. She had with her a social worker who "represented" her. There was the translator from yesterday who has been his social case worker for 3 months. The Vice-chairman of CY was there. And our translator, person in charge - Sharon. There was one more social worker, from the state. After all our interchange had happened, she made a request. It caused quite a stir! She Vice Chairman interrupted and was quite stern. The other women all looked surprised. The discussion between them went on for a while before they spoke to us. Sharon spoke to the Vice Chairman a good bit, clarifying, before she spoke to us.
Guess what the request was? Because it is a state requirement that children be enrolled in a school, they wanted proof that James would be going to school. Don't you think that's odd? He will not be a ward of the state, actually shouldn't have been once the final ruling came in. I quickly assessed that this fight was between the government and CY. I wonder if the interpretation of the new adoption law is changing here, or at least what is required of the orphanages is. This was unexpected, clearly, and I feel sure if we had balked and said it wasn't any of their business, CY would have backed us. But no need for that. I explained that of course we could provide proof he is attending school (thanks CHEC) but that it wouldn't be until January, when school started again. That s to please everyone.
Our exchanges with JR's foster mother were very special. She obviously loves this little boy, as does her family. She told us that he had chosen,"spontaneously" to come to us. I'mnot sure how that works, since I didn't think the children had that choice. But maybe he did. In any case, it meant for her that she could let him go to us.
We started the session with giving her a git, which was the right time to do that. It was a silver heart necklace of 2 hearts intertwined. We explained that her heartwould always be part of JR's heart and our hearts. She cried, apologized for her display of emotion, and then put it on. She touched it several times during our conversations.
There is so much to say about that part of the process, but I can't here. I just know that it must have broken her heart and I can only guess how JR feels. But he came willingly. A littlescared, but not timidly. He was clearly aware of this goodbye being for a long time. But he let us hold him, smile at him, responded with I love you too, and held on tight for thisnew ride!
Tim said and I agree that JR will be the glue in the family. He is impulsive physically, but it's not without thought. He is watchful and sees immediately when someone is displeased or upset. He wants to comfort Joy, but doesn't understand her reactions yet. (more on that later). He wants to make us laugh or smile at his accomplishment and isn't afraid to come and get it if we aren't paying enough attention. (the ipad is an amazing thing! Angry Birds transcends all language barriers and Fruit Ninja provides laughter no matter your age!)
There is more to say but it is time to wake up JR who doesn't want to get up and go to breakfast. 9am AIT appt.
more later
blessings
Margaret
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
An Amazing Day at the Zoo!
The day at the Zoo was so much fun! Joy and JR holding hands, racing each other, climbing on every available surface, smashing chocolate ice cream all over their mouths! What could be more fun than having a little brother to share it all with!?
JR is a sweet little boy, who is bigger than we thought, and he's well-behaved with us. But he also likes to run towards anything and everything that interests him. Even with the translator/social working pretty much let him run around. It was interesting.
Joy was great! Really stepped up and did a great job of being a big sister. She watched him, ran after him when asked to, stopped him when he got too far, and held his hand whenever he would let her. He wanted to play Rock Paper Sissors for a long time, hopping back and forth depending on who won. It was fun and wonderful to watch.
We have some cute pictures that Tim has posted to facebook, but they don't seem to be posting. So, we will wait to post pictures here for a few days. Sorry about that!
Today is papersigning day. Since we've already spent so much time with him, we have only an hour and 20 minutes planned for that. I'm anxious about the goodbyes - his foster mother has been his only mother for 6 years. He is her only foster child. She already cried yesterday, but it is going to be hard for them both to say goodbye.
Pray for a smooth transition day! He's been pretty catered to and allowed a lot of freedom with few boundaries. It is going to be survival for this week, for sure!
Love to you all
Margaret
JR is a sweet little boy, who is bigger than we thought, and he's well-behaved with us. But he also likes to run towards anything and everything that interests him. Even with the translator/social working pretty much let him run around. It was interesting.
Joy was great! Really stepped up and did a great job of being a big sister. She watched him, ran after him when asked to, stopped him when he got too far, and held his hand whenever he would let her. He wanted to play Rock Paper Sissors for a long time, hopping back and forth depending on who won. It was fun and wonderful to watch.
We have some cute pictures that Tim has posted to facebook, but they don't seem to be posting. So, we will wait to post pictures here for a few days. Sorry about that!
Today is papersigning day. Since we've already spent so much time with him, we have only an hour and 20 minutes planned for that. I'm anxious about the goodbyes - his foster mother has been his only mother for 6 years. He is her only foster child. She already cried yesterday, but it is going to be hard for them both to say goodbye.
Pray for a smooth transition day! He's been pretty catered to and allowed a lot of freedom with few boundaries. It is going to be survival for this week, for sure!
Love to you all
Margaret
Sunday, October 21, 2012
In Taipei, again!
We are in Taipei! As of this morning, we have been here for a whole day! This morning begins much more relaxed than yesterday - at this time yesterday, we were standing in line to go through immigration. Right now we are in a huge bed, snuggled up and watching Philadelphia Story on the dvd player!
Today is the day!!
We meet James and his foster mother at Chung Yi, the orphanage at 10:30am. Then spend the day at the zoo together. We are nervous, but ready to get started on the journey! Joy is beside herself! Bouncing between being super sweet and loving and lashing out and being crazy. When she's calmer, she can say how scared she is about this change. And excited too! That's a good thing.
There's lots more to tell, but right now I just wanted to let people know we are here, safe and sound. We are so thankful for your prayers! They are helping us all!
Margaret
Thursday, October 18, 2012
And we are (almost) off again!
We leave tomorrow on another journey! A journey of love, hope and excitement. We leave to get our little boy, James Robert, from Taipei!
For those of you who had followed my postings about getting Joy, I apologize for not writing anything for a long time. I had to decide what I wanted the blog to be. There were personal things that I did not want to share, as many of you now know Joy (or Alex, more on that later) and I didn't want to color what you might see in her. I also wasn't sure anyone really needed to know about my insights into adoptive parenting - there is a lot of info out there already! And my insights aren't too terribly original, lol. While I haven't written anything down, I have stayed up at night composing posts, so at some point I will write them down.
But for now, this blog is officially up and running! Just as we are running to Gotcha Day #2! :)
We are off tomorrow to get James, or JR, as Zach dubbed him. He is 6 years old and has lived with his foster family since birth. We will meet him and his foster mother on Monday morning at Chung Yi, the same orphanage Joy lived in for 2 years. Joy will be with us, (of course - do you think she'd let us leave her anywhere!?) and we will all go to the zoo and spend the day. We took Joy there on our first day as a family, so this will be fun.
The second day, we do paperwork and all the official things. Then, just like with Joy, they will have us stand for pictures in the front hall against the wall with pictures of other adoptive families, then we get in a taxi and wave goodbye. You are a new family and now, on your own. It's a wonderful and strange feeling. I'm grateful we've done it before. I think James will need us to have btdt (been there done that).
Here are a few pictures:
As you can see, he's all boy! Gonna be a pistol, I'm sure!
We are very excited! Joy is beside herself sometimes - so excited, nervous (will he like me?) and worried (will we love her too?). There is still a little fear that says we might leave her there, but we're doing our best to cope with that before it gets to be a big fear. I have a charm heart that says "I'm always in your heart, Love Joy" and she has one that says, "I'm always in your heart, love Mama". We'll wear those and maybe even switch if she's anxious the day we go to Chung Yi. She doesn't have good memories of living there and is worried about seeing it again. My hope is that it turns out to be a nicer place than she remembered.
That's all for now - except I should change the color of the blog, don't you think?
I'll try to post after we get there.
Love to all
Margaret
For those of you who had followed my postings about getting Joy, I apologize for not writing anything for a long time. I had to decide what I wanted the blog to be. There were personal things that I did not want to share, as many of you now know Joy (or Alex, more on that later) and I didn't want to color what you might see in her. I also wasn't sure anyone really needed to know about my insights into adoptive parenting - there is a lot of info out there already! And my insights aren't too terribly original, lol. While I haven't written anything down, I have stayed up at night composing posts, so at some point I will write them down.
But for now, this blog is officially up and running! Just as we are running to Gotcha Day #2! :)
We are off tomorrow to get James, or JR, as Zach dubbed him. He is 6 years old and has lived with his foster family since birth. We will meet him and his foster mother on Monday morning at Chung Yi, the same orphanage Joy lived in for 2 years. Joy will be with us, (of course - do you think she'd let us leave her anywhere!?) and we will all go to the zoo and spend the day. We took Joy there on our first day as a family, so this will be fun.
The second day, we do paperwork and all the official things. Then, just like with Joy, they will have us stand for pictures in the front hall against the wall with pictures of other adoptive families, then we get in a taxi and wave goodbye. You are a new family and now, on your own. It's a wonderful and strange feeling. I'm grateful we've done it before. I think James will need us to have btdt (been there done that).
Here are a few pictures:
As you can see, he's all boy! Gonna be a pistol, I'm sure!
We are very excited! Joy is beside herself sometimes - so excited, nervous (will he like me?) and worried (will we love her too?). There is still a little fear that says we might leave her there, but we're doing our best to cope with that before it gets to be a big fear. I have a charm heart that says "I'm always in your heart, Love Joy" and she has one that says, "I'm always in your heart, love Mama". We'll wear those and maybe even switch if she's anxious the day we go to Chung Yi. She doesn't have good memories of living there and is worried about seeing it again. My hope is that it turns out to be a nicer place than she remembered.
That's all for now - except I should change the color of the blog, don't you think?
I'll try to post after we get there.
Love to all
Margaret
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