Happy Forever Family Day!

A little more than 40 years ago (I'm not going to be precise), I celebrated my first Happy Forever Family Day. I celebrated that extra "birthday" every year for a few years.

You see, January 29th was the day I came home to my Forever Family!

I was only 10 weeks old, so I don't remember the day, but I do remember that every year, I was told how I came home. I had a rash on my face and they didn't want to let me out of the orphanage. But Mom and Dad promised to take me to the pediatrician right away, on the way home. They did, and the doctor told them that if they didn't look at it, it would go away.

And of course, it went away!

There is a lot written in adoptive parents blogs about how perfectly their adopted children fit into their families - as if they were handpicked just for them. I have to agree, on both ends of the event!

I grew up in a family where I learned about logic and about fishing and camping too. I got to take piano lessons beginning when I was 5 and voice lessons when I turned 15. I got to go to great schools where I could study music, or anything I wanted. I learned to love artichokes with lemon butter (which was my mother's special treat when Daddy was playing golf late on Saturdays)and steaks on the grill (which Daddy cooked outside on Friday nights). I learned how to play bridge so I could be the fourth with my parents and grandmother.

When I was growing up, I did go through a (predictable) period of resenting the whole thing. In third grade, my friends found out that I was adopted. I had always known, so I didn't think much about it. But when the teasing started and the "shunning" in the lunch room didn't stop, my parents decided to take me out of school for a little while. I got to go to Europe with my mother and grandmother and a group of my grandmother's friends. I was, obviously, the youngest there, and I had a grand time! By the time I got home, I was no longer writing "I hate you" in my diary!

I didn't know that much about my birth parents and had created a "birth myth" to beat them all! My birthparents were famous musicians and if I practiced hard enough, maybe I'd be good enough to perform with them! Now I realize how silly that was, but also how that made me practice and stay with music when I might not have otherwise.

I also see, now that I'm older just how perfect my parents were for me. I can see how some things in me are nature (my singing ability for instance, since my mother was asked not to sing at the sorority functions even though she knew all the words!). I can also see how some qualities are based on nurture (by ability to think my way through a problem or issue - thanks Mother!). I also learned that I was tougher than I thought, and I can still bait my own hook, which is not a bad thing to know!

I can also see, from my perspective with Joy, how perfectly she fits into our family! I know that her musical talent is innate, but I know that I can help her nurture it. I know that her temper and "whiney-ness" might be innate, but are most likely something that has worked for her in the past - and being aware of that helps me "nurture" that out of her. I see how adventurous she is and I know how good that will be for me and Tim. I see how resilient she is and know that we will help protect that in her so that she will always be able to rely on herself and those who love her.

I see how Zach and Courtney play with Joy and know that she is exactly the little sister they needed. I see how she adores them and can't wait for Ge-ge to get home from school or our Skype with Jei-jei and know that they are the perfect siblings for her.

I also know she's the perfect granddaughter for my mother - Joy will love being spoiled and I bet my mother can keep up with her! (I hope I can keep up with them both!)

So Happy Forever Family Day! And thank you, Mother! Love you more than I can say!